Why i quit dating god
Why i quit dating god
"I was, though, crucified with a crown of thorns and nails then incarnated as Astronges, a Jewish revolutionary put to death by the Romans at around the end of the last century BC ...It explained why in this life I had funny shaped wrists and ankles..." Had? "They've pretty much corrected themselves now I've acknowledged the crucifixion - but there used to be big hollows where nails had been bashed in." The last decade has been a tough one for the former MI5 officer.
Even his dramatic weight loss - he used to be a good three stone heavier and all jowls - gets a spiritual spin.
On his and Annie's return to the UK in 2000, he was arrested and held in Belmarsh prison for three weeks before being charged with three counts of breaching the Official Secrets Act.
In November 2002 after representing himself in court, he received a six-month sentence.
But I managed to focus and we played like we'd never played before, winning 4-0." He did it again in the semi-final, against Bucharest. "I got drunk and it turns out it doesn't work if you're drunk.
"Again we were 3-0 down, again I meditated and, bang, we won - a real miracle." So what about the final, when Middlesbrough lost 4-0 to Seville? You can't focus." After that, he claims the 'creator' informed him that influencing football results - however dear to his heart - was not an appropriate use of the light. "On 28 June, I was told I had to remove darkness from London.
Rather tellingly, he claimed that Britain's spies were unable to deal with the growing threat of global terrorism, that MI5's obsession with bureaucracy and secrecy prevented crucial information being used to stop bombings and that insufficient agents and inept decision-making meant that terrorist groups were not properly monitored.
"At the end of 2004 I tried meditation - I was so desperate, I'd have tried anything - and my life began to change for the better." Sadly, his 14-year relationship with Annie could not weather the strain.
He was released after just seven weeks, but his life was in tatters. It'd taken enormous courage to go on the record and I'd risked everything for the truth - my family, my girlfriend, my life - and ended up with no job, no future, no money.
I was blacklisted by the secret service and no one would employ me." None of his 1997 allegations have since been proved wrong.
"A lot of what she said wasn't true, including - and I'm not just saying this to score points - how our relationship ended. All I can say is she's got a lot of soul searching to do." While he is likeable, well-spoken, beautifully mannered and very clever, it's all very disturbing. Lawrence - Lawrence of Arabia - started wearing long white robes when he realised he was the Christ. On June 30 I got up and looked through all my research and thought, "Bloody hell, Dave, you're not the messiah, you've just gone completely mad - you're hearing voices, what are you playing at?
Particularly when he rattles through his past lives - along with Astronges (the crucified Jewish revolutionary) there's also George Washington, Pythagoras, Socrates, Leonardo da Vinci, Mark Antony and Lawrence of Arabia. It seems part of the process." The terrifying thing is how unshakeable his belief is. " "But the next night, there was that attempted terrorist attack on Glasgow airport and I realised it had been a test of faith. I smoke cannabis every day - it makes you more spiritual and less violent and takes you closer to the light." And makes you hallucinate?
"I was decoding it - after all, that's what I was trained to do - and I suddenly realised it goes David S, H, A...