Online dating haiku
Online dating haiku
Name any group of individuals who may one day want to seek one another out for companionship and sex, and I guarantee there's already a dating site for them. But none of that really captures the magic of what I get to see on a daily basis. So many that in 2011 I actually made a website dedicated entirely to those terrible messages. I also see a lot of GLORIOUS replies to the world's terrible messages. Contrast that with one day in 2013 when I created a female profile on a dating app and received 100 messages in the first day, more than 25 of which were overtly sexual, and several of which made aggressively sexual/violent threats.
There are even live events dedicated to making fun of people who don’t yet realize this new reality in which the things we say on the internet can get publicly rebroadcast in realtime.
Without Lavalife, I never would have bumped into my now-husband Keith. But as tender as this writing might be, it can also be playful.
It is such an easy way to meet people you might not normally cross paths with otherwise. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.
Did you know that there are over 3,000 dating sites and apps out there? And yes, before you ask, I actually get paid to do this. I’ve even had to attempt dating across apps that are definitely not intended for dating (sorry, Yelp! I become irrationally excited when people send me their online dating messages and date stories.
It seems crazy, but honestly, if you name any group of individuals who may one day want to seek one another out for companionship and sex, then there’s likely already a dating site for them. Some individuals are just unbelievably talented when it comes to messaging.
Here's an example of an emoji- and food pun-savvy friend of mine moving from Tinder to texting to meet-up to follow-up without missing a beat. As a result, it behooves us all to be more aware of the day-to-day realities of interacting with one another in this modern, interconnected world.
Yes, to a certain extent, this means being prepared for internet trolls and creepers.
I want to show you some of the most elegant, beautiful, mesmerizing, and excruciatingly painful morsels that I've come across during my last five years as an online dating consultant. Some of the messages are so comically bad that they actually border upon, dare I say, poetic. It's difficult to properly draw conclusions from these experiences, though. Are men more willing/shameless about sending sexual messages?
Like this one, which I'm lifting from a FOUR-STANZA love poem: For the sake of my work, I've had to try out literally hundreds of dating sites and apps. Other times, it makes me want to repeatedly bash my head against a wall. Maybe men are less at risk of having their sexuality exploited and therefore less aware of how threatening an overtly sexual/aggressive message can be perceived?
As a result, it behooves us all to be more aware of the day to day realities of interacting with one another in this modern, interconnected world.
Some people have asked that I address the topic of sexual economics and gender-based discrepancies in user experience / behavior across dating apps.
But in my profession as an online dating consultant, I receive endless notifications of godawful messages from some of the most godawful users across some of the most godawful dating apps ever conceived. Most of the time, it means I’m helping companies make their dating apps less shitty, or in the best case scenario, I’m telling would-be founders to pick a different idea to work on. I also consult for individual daters who need help either getting into relationships, getting out of relationships, opening them up, and occasionally closing them again.