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25-Jan-2017 01:59 by 10 Comments

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You get endorphins, you feel the same signals in your brain pleasure-wise, I get the messages. My mind really did kind of get set on getting there, and sometimes, looking back, I wasn't always in the moment. At this point, it's about feeling all those pleasure zones as they happen, and not just waiting for the big climax. I'm not gonna say it's so much better — I miss orgasms. I can do it from the side, like being embraced, or on my stomach.And most girls like to be kissed on their neck, but now it's an ultra sensitive spot for me. One reason I'm very upfront and overshare about this is because it's such a misconception that people in wheelchairs can't have sex or be sexy — and they're just lying there, so how can that be sexy?

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[Chris and I] had sex for the first time after the accident when two months had passed, and it was kind of like losing my virginity again.

We talked about it, we knew we would still be intimate, and we knew I wouldn't be able to crawl around on the bed and climb on top of him — but from the sex ed that I sought out since I was openly talking to people [at rehab], there were plenty of positions I could do.

I had a very awesome, open nurse who worked at the hospital I was at, and neither of us had any problems talking about sex.

There was also a female quad who worked there who was 40 and who got hurt in her 20s, and she was very sexual and open, and I asked her a lot of questions.

Before I got hurt, I was an aerobics instructor and I got myself as fit as I could. So it was hard to be in the moment, but at the same time, it was a revelation! I was like, "I'm gonna go home and take care of myself like I used to, and I wont always have this neck brace." I'm still trying to figure out the deal with orgasms.

Basically, it's hard to explain this, but some people have complete feeling down there when they have sex. I don't feel below my chest, but when I'm having sex I can tell when he's inside me — because my blood pressure raises a little bit, and your body changes in a lot of little ways.

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The vagus nerve is responsible for the pleasure signals from sex and it totally bypasses your spinal cord and goes straight to your brain. And sometimes, other quads figure out how to get that, after years and years.

So that's why I'm kind of able to tell when I'm having sex and still feel aroused. But one positive difference, I would say, is that before the accident, it was always about having the orgasm. But as far as positions go, it's much easier to do missionary obviously with my legs — you'd hold them back, but what I do is kind of wrap my arms around my legs to make it easier.

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