Ivory towers intelligent dating reviews

31-Oct-2016 11:34 by 4 Comments

Ivory towers intelligent dating reviews

The new hops' test was an induction into the dominant culture of the house I was in, and of much of the school.Such bullying was merely the most obvious example of what went on unchecked every day: the only time we escaped it entirely was during lessons.

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There were about 40 girls to 700 boys, so it wasn't exactly as nature intended.The boys felt entitled to make personal comments – about our features, our figure, our clothes, our choice of friends – and to make them to our face.I still hear these comments in my head sometimes when I am getting dressed.It hadn't occurred to anyone that this might need to be different from the system in place for the boys – house tutors who functioned as policemen-cum-smoke-detectors.The girls were given space – a shared study, a seat in class – but the system for turning boys into men did not seem to have been altered to accommodate us in any broader sense.Each house had two, occasionally three, girls in each A-level year, so if your study mate wasn't a kindred spirit, you were effectively on your own.

There was no girls' house (we had to live either at home or in digs), there wasn't a single female member of staff, and there was no apparent thought for pastoral care.

It was relentless, the sense of being watched and assessed and commented on, and this non-stop critical attention was compounded by isolation and by there being no one sympathetic to turn to.

Beating up – the school term for teasing –was the chief recreational activity for many boys, and it was so merciless that even some new teachers did not last long.

I've made mental lists of things that might explain what happened, like this: I am the firstborn child of gentle parents; I was too sensitive, and needed to toughen up a bit.

I had come from an all-girls grammar school so I hadn't spent much time with boys.

What fascinates me still is how I had bought into this brutal male system so quickly, why I wanted somehow to be part of it.