Dating an alcoholic who is sober
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For example, you’ll likely need to avoid drinking or using drugs around your partner.If you go to parties or events where alcohol is being served, you may need to leave early or offer additional support.
A history of addiction doesn’t necessarily turn Mr./Mrs. They’ve waged a courageous battle, spending a great deal of time working to take care of and improve themselves.Even if it’s inconvenient for you, you’ll need to make allowances for your partner to go to meetings or counseling sessions, particularly in stressful times, so that they can continue to prioritize their recovery.Short of a relapse, there still may be times when they fall into old habits, such as withdrawing from friends and family or telling lies.In the earliest stages, most recovering addicts are trying to figure out who they are, what they want and how to be in a healthy relationship.Beyond the first year, the longer someone has maintained their sobriety the more secure you can feel that you’re choosing a partner who is healthy and whole.Someone with less than a year sober should stay focused on their recovery program, not dating.
This guideline is designed to protect the addict as well as the people they might date.
The threat of relapse need not deter you from dating someone firmly grounded in their recovery. By educating yourself about disease of addiction, you’ll know what to expect and when to ask for help.
Being a loving partner to a recovering addict requires sensitivity and discretion.
If you’ve struggled with addiction yourself, be extra cautious – your use can trigger their relapse, and their relapse could spell ruin for both of you.
Left unaddressed, relapse can set in motion a roller coaster of chaotic break-ups and reunification that in the long run only exacerbates the problem.
Before diving into a relationship, find out if your prospective partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, or if they display addictive or compulsive patterns in other areas (e.g., gambling, work, sex, food or spending).